March 2008
1 post
Dear Internet
Please blow up all websites that have audio on autoplay. Thanking you in anticipation Vanessa
February 2008
1 post
January 2008
7 posts
Dear internet...
agsystems:next time you feel like resizing my browser window without asking me first, don’t. If you do I’m gonna chop your legs off.
Dear Internet, Could someone do a remix of the There Will Be Blood preview set to AC/DC’s If You Want Blood? Love, Jared
Dear Internet, Please post that old Saturday Night Live sketch about “Blossom” where Sara Gilbert says “Those aren’t condoms…they’re balloons…for a party!” Because I think about it often. — dalasverdugo
:)
Dear ninjabot, On behalf of the internet, we accept your apology. Your next year schedule is as garbage as this years (except for the game where USC (the team that should be national champions this year) will destroy you) but it gets better the year after that. Ohio state is good football, but I’m allowed to hate you guys when you (barely) beat ASU in it’s second only rose bowl...
:(
Dear Internet, Please tell livejamie that I am sorry. The SEC appears to be the stronger conference. I can only hope that the experiences of this year will help to build a stronger buckeye team next year. Then, after that, we can lose all of our good seniors again and have another shit season! Yours, ninjabot
Dear Internets
You have solved many of my problems, yet you catered to me so nicely you have left me wanting more. While I’m sure you’re capable of doing so many unheard of future ideas, for some reason you’re diversifying and leaving me feeling confused and over logged-in. I want to thank you for social networking and allowing me to be a citizen of transparency, however I’m one of those...
Dear Internet, Firefox handles memory better than...
Not a week goes by when I don’t hear someone say or write: ”Firefox sucks, it’s full of memory leaks, I have to restart it like every few hours!!!1” Then we engage in a complex computer science-y analysis of what exactly is behind this. Bad programming? Feature bloat? Mozilla sold out to Microsoft? Few realize that Firefox’s ability to open many many tabs, not Firefox’s...
December 2007
1 post
Dear Internet,
At what age does it become unseemly to have multiple, concurrent internet crushes? I sincerely hope the answer is a number higher than 32, else I shall be quite embarrassed. Sincerely, J. — ofvarieddelights
November 2007
1 post
www.breedbreed.com →
Just to be able to see what this might be about; dear internet can you send an invitation my way? — brocatus
October 2007
9 posts
Delays for Guitar Gyros
Dear Internet, If there’s one thing that gets my goat it’s when I find myself unable to perform random personal tasks online while I’m at work. Today I was very displeased to find that you had made the Guitar Hero 3 community site unavailable several times. I have avatars to upload and tour groups to manage. That’s very hard to do when the site is overloaded and/or...
FFFFOUND by Jason Kottke →
Dear internet, can you send an invitation to FFFOUND my way? Thanks! andre at brocatus dot com
Dear Internet, Thanks for having all 4 series of the British comedy “Peep Show” online in DVD-quality streaming video. You’re a real pal. dalas
Apple has made no commitment to support 3rd party applications, so Dear Internet: stop bitching about it.
Cameron
September 2007
7 posts
Teeny Little Rhubarb Pie
Dear Internet, Can I have a mashup of “Teeny Little Super Guy” from Sesame Street vs. “Rhubarb Pie” from A Prairie Home Companion? Nick
From my 18 year-old self
Dear Internet, Wassup? I’m real stoked that you and I have gotten to know eachother better this year. Since we met you’ve introduced me to Yahoo, CompuServe, Alta Vista, Lycos, IM, ICQ and FTP. So many letters to remember, right. LOL!!! For real though, you’re one of my best friends. You really helped me out in Algebra with those quadratic formulas and in English with my...
Dear Internet, Do you love me like I love you? Circle YES or NO or MAYBE. Write back soon, Pierre
Dear Internet, It’s “tumblelog”. Pronounce it like the complete word “tumble” followed by the complete word “log”. No gaps, emphasis on “tum”. The following alternatives are all wrong and awkward: - Tumblr blog - tumble blog - tumblog Also, the correct present participle is “tumblelogging”. I recognize that it doesn’t take...
Dear Internet, Do you think you could “accidentally” misplace myspace? I’d really appreciate it. via ninjabot
Dear Internet, don’t you think a drawing of John Lennon and Paul McCartney having gay sex would be funny? Can you make that happen, please? via dalas
Dear Internet, Please, no more “5000 Things” blog posts. You could write an article titled “261 Ways to Make $1 Million from the Toilet” and I still won’t read it. The internet is not the cover of Cosmo. Work harder to get my attention. via jared