Dear Internet,

Dear Internet

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:19:25 -0500

Please blow up all websites that have audio on autoplay.

Thanking you in anticipation

rachelanastasia: Dear internet: I am going to a show tonight...

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:50:19 -0500

Dear internet: I am going to a show tonight (immaculate machine) and getting loser drunk (ie being the only one drunk) and yes, I am wearing my Starsky and Hutch tshirt (ORIGINAL starsky and hutch thank you very much) and well, I know at least ONE person will be having a good time tonight (me)

Dear internet...

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:04:13 -0500

agsystems:

next time you feel like resizing my browser window without asking me first, don’t. If you do I’m gonna chop your legs off.

Dear Internet, Could someone do a remix of the There Will Be Blood preview set to AC/DC’s If...

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:22:37 -0500

Dear Internet,

Could someone do a remix of the There Will Be Blood preview set to AC/DC’s If You Want Blood?

Love,

Jared

Dear Internet, Please post that old Saturday Night Live sketch about “Blossom” where...

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:37:26 -0500

Dear Internet,

Please post that old Saturday Night Live sketch about “Blossom” where Sara Gilbert says “Those aren’t condoms…they’re balloons…for a party!”

Because I think about it often.

— dalasverdugo

:)

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:46:58 -0500

Dear ninjabot,

On behalf of the internet, we accept your apology. Your next year schedule is as garbage as this years (except for the game where USC (the team that should be national champions this year) will destroy you) but it gets better the year after that.

Ohio state is good football, but I’m allowed to hate you guys when you (barely) beat ASU in it’s second only rose bowl appearance in 1997. :(

But here’s to College Football, the best sport on God’s green earth! What an interesting year it was this year.

Yours,
livejamie

:(

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:45:54 -0500

Dear Internet,

Please tell livejamie that I am sorry. The SEC appears to be the stronger conference. I can only hope that the experiences of this year will help to build a stronger buckeye team next year. Then, after that, we can lose all of our good seniors again and have another shit season!

Yours,

ninjabot

Dear Internets

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:05:16 -0500

You have solved many of my problems, yet you catered to me so nicely you have left me wanting more. While I’m sure you’re capable of doing so many unheard of future ideas, for some reason you’re diversifying and leaving me feeling confused and over logged-in.

I want to thank you for social networking and allowing me to be a citizen of transparency, however I’m one of those pesky vanity users. I have domains, a certain specific personal branding that leaves me feeling spread about rather comforted. I’m smarter than the average AOL mom, and while I’m not busy trying to run my own webserver I am trying to do a million things throughout your tubes and I have one request.

Instead of catering to specific audiences, media or service how about you cater to me via that link? You really have to do no more than what you’re already doing, you just have to give me more freedom with it. I’m willing to pay you for that extra leniency even if I’m already paying for your space and time.

I don’t want to be attentionwhore.org or courtneyjohnston.net, flickr.com/photos/attentionwhore, vimeo.com/courtneyjohnston, linkedin.com/in/courtneyjohnston, myspace.com/attnwhore, facebook.com/profile.php?id=621256198, or last.fm/user/attnwhore/.

What if I was courtneyjohnston.net/flickr or courtneyjohnston.net/linkedin? What if every service I used allowed me to integrate their services into the domain of my choice and allowed me to present my data in the exact way I wanted it shown down to the exact letter spacing? (Thank you tumblr)

I don’t mean just make multiple pages and use rss feeds. Without duplicating any of my data and allowing me to stay a part of their network while also routing people to my specific area. I’m not a fan of the same picture or post showing up in 4 different locations on 4 different servers just to be connected to my profile somehow.

I guess that’s all it is really; I just don’t want a profile. I want to be my own profile and handle my presentation using the exact format I want.

I’m already willing to pay flickr $24.99 a year just to host my images and give me an okay organizational interface. My spending for all of my regularly used services would probably far outweight whatever myspace and facebook are getting in ad revenue from me and my profiles. Give me EASY access to make everything cohesive in MY way and you’ll be giving me my ideal internet experience. And I’ll probably be giving you back a few hundred a year for the love. — courtneyj

Dear Internet, Firefox handles memory better than you think

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 02:03:24 -0500

Not a week goes by when I don’t hear someone say or write:

“Firefox sucks, it’s full of memory leaks, I have to restart it like every few hours!!!1”

Then we engage in a complex computer science-y analysis of what exactly is behind this. Bad programming? Feature bloat? Mozilla sold out to Microsoft?

Few realize that Firefox’s ability to open many many tabs, not Firefox’s memory handling, is what’s responsible for these “issues”.

Before Firefox, you were forced to keep your IE/etc windows lean because having 15 of them open cluttered up everything and made the machine you were using useless.

With Firefox, that’s no longer a problem as they sit neatly in your single window. Except that they still demand plenty of memory, CPU and other resources because they are fine & capable browser windows containing lots of flash, images and text… which leads us to this “memory issue”.

Yes, keep less tabs open and you will find Firefox surprisingly efficient.

Yours truly,

Common Sense

— fascinated

Dear Internet,

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:08:06 -0500

At what age does it become unseemly to have multiple, concurrent internet crushes? I sincerely hope the answer is a number higher than 32, else I shall be quite embarrassed.

Sincerely,

— ofvarieddelights

www.breedbreed.com

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:38:41 -0500

www.breedbreed.com: Just to be able to see what this might be about; dear internet can you send an invitation my way? — brocatus

Delays for Guitar Gyros

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:28:19 -0400

Dear Internet,

If there’s one thing that gets my goat it’s when I find myself unable to perform random personal tasks online while I’m at work. Today I was very displeased to find that you had made the Guitar Hero 3 community site unavailable several times. I have avatars to upload and tour groups to manage. That’s very hard to do when the site is overloaded and/or unavailable. Could you please cut that shit out?

Thank you,

ninjabot

PS. I still love you.

Someone should make a Facebook app out of this photo of Mark...

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:46:44 -0400

Someone should make a Facebook app out of this photo of Mark Zuckerberg from the new issue of Fast Company. It should be a Flash app, and you can move your mouse around and it moves his arm. When you click to drag, it writes on the board. Who can make it happen?

UPDATE: It should be called “Marker Zuckberg”

jakob

Anton LaVey 8 on UFO’s from the AFTERLIFE (via...

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 15:31:05 -0400

Anton LaVey 8 on UFO’s from the AFTERLIFE (via DesteniProdDemons)

WHAT IS THIS DOING ON MY INTERNET?!?!?

Dear Internet,

Why is this thing on you? Please explain. Immediately.

FFFFOUND by Jason Kottke

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 11:09:31 -0400

FFFFOUND by Jason Kottke: Dear internet,
can you send an invitation to FFFOUND my way? Thanks!
andre at brocatus dot com

From JoshMeyers, For Dalas. “Paul McCartney having gay sex...

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:47:06 -0400

From JoshMeyers, For Dalas.

“Paul McCartney having gay sex with John Lennon.”

here’s the response from dalas:

“YAY!!! Paul needs his pouty Paul face, but WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN? Thanks for making this a reality.”

Haha!!! YES!!! Our first response is a great one. I hope everybody alive sees this. Thanks a ton Josh.

Hey John, d’ya fancy a wee poke?

Dear Internet, Is there a way that we can penalize Internet...

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:18:43 -0400

Dear Internet,

Is there a way that we can penalize Internet Explorer for being so shitty? Maybe send it to an Internet Detention Center?

We could go on for days with our complaints, but you’ve heard it all: security problems, lack of full CSS support, PNG transparency, proprietary rules, you get the idea.

IE is the O.J. Simpson of the Internet. Somebody should arrest that dick.

Love,
Everyone

Dear Internet,Calm the fuck down.Love,BK via aatw

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:41:00 -0400

Dear Internet,

Calm the fuck down.

Love,
BK

via aatw

Dear Internet,Thanks for having all 4 series of the British comedy “Peep Show” online in...

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:31:54 -0400

Dear Internet,

Thanks for having all 4 series of the British comedy “Peep Show” online in DVD-quality streaming video.

You’re a real pal.

dalas

Apple has made no commitment to support 3rd party applications, so Dear Internet: stop bitching...

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:27:49 -0400

Apple has made no commitment to support 3rd party applications, so Dear Internet: stop bitching about it.

Cameron